Wednesday, December 30, 2009

perfectly lonely

the only cure for this is a shower. (warm)
Laying cozy in a blanket while those downstairs continue living their routine as if I didn't exist. Chirpping away.

Isn't it always like this.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

In three words, I can sum up everything I know about life: it goes on. - Robert Frost
What little was left has now shattered

A million little pieces

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Yeah, I'm a failure, So What?

Why are we so afraid of failure, does it not teach us something important.

For me, I'm finally realizing that I must be accountable for everything I do. Im learning about the bad decisions I make and how to change it so next time it's better.

I'm learning that maybe I should do what I want, and not what others expect of me.

I want to care about me for once. Time for myself.


Tuesday, November 10, 2009

So much, yet so little

Mid-term tomorrow (english)
History Essay - thursday
World Religion Quiz - 18th
English Essay - 19th
World Religion Essay - 25th

and some other minor quizzes? quizes? quizis? nope

yet i feel like im not doing anything...this is why im soooo far behind on my readings...

I miss this

Friday, November 6, 2009

Thursday, November 5, 2009

May You Rest In Peace

My uncle died, why? He has a six year old daughter that will never get to share those father-daughter moments that were soo special in my life. Why does she have to grow up never truly knowing her father? Why?

And why do I feel like I have nothing to say to people in these moments? There's the "My thoughts and prayers are with you," but I feel more than that. "My heart breaks at the sadness of the situation you and your daughter are in. He was a great man, one the world will miss, a man that I will miss." This is closer, but still not all that I want to say.

I feel that I will never know what to say in these situations, I feel no one really does.

I am thankful that I saw him Thanksgiving and hugged him for one last time. I realize now that saying "Good-bye, see you Christmas," is really now, "Good-bye, see you one day in the skies above."

May you rest in peace Uncle Tony. May you rest in peace.

Thursday, August 13, 2009


I have been non stop this summer. Seriously, most of my summers are filled with the lazy days where your relationship with the shower is strained, but the relationship with the sims or facebook has never been better. But no, not this summer, since school got out ive had one of those days. Yeah getting money is sweet and all but seriously, im pooped. I work EVERY day, and then i go out and chill with meagan and david and ocasionally andrew (i miss you) and others. I need the money but i want my friends.
Maybe i can win the lottery and this will be solved
marry a rich man

AND then i just realized that im leaving in like two weeks....... !

Sunday, July 5, 2009


This feels weird...

I have never felt this way before

I'm feeling sorry for myself for some reason. Out of body experience....sitting there looking at myself and just feeling sorry for me.

Monday, June 29, 2009

I'm A Woriking Woman

Finished my first day of 'Real' work. 9-5. I earned myself $80 in one day!!!! Which means $400 in one week. Which means $1600 a month. NICE!

It was weird having my mom as my boss. I called her Wendy mulitple times instead of 'Mom' and i giggled every time.

Now i have to do this for the next two months

Sunday, June 28, 2009

I heart you

Im watching Kiss Kiss Bang Bang...and I'm realizing how much I love Robert Downey Jr.

This is addicting

These blogs are, like I said, addicting.

It was Jess's birthday and she had no problem pointing it out. I didn't really want to go out but I did 'For support' and was the DD again...always.

I actually had a good time.

I swear half of them are already alcoholics....

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Dear Meagan, (part two)

I have figured out how to follow you ;) apparently its as easy as clicking "follow blog". Who would have thought? Not I.

Tea was splendid. We must do that more. How does everyday sound?

I'm going to miss you woman

what occurs in my mind at 1:29 am...

I was thinking, "i wish my life had a soundtrack that played in the background all the time. How sweet would that be?"
Then i replied to my self, "Pretty darn sweet is how sweet that would be!"

But then i thought, well really, your life kinda does have a soundtrack just not the one that constantly plays. There are certain songs that remind you of certain nights, moments or people:

Michael Jackson: My childhood and meagan and sauble
Celine Dion: My childhood and david...and my embarassing talent show performance
Madonna: DAVID and my sister and mother
Alexisonfire: Jazzy
The Fray: Monica, Brittany, Shannon
Anything on Kats iphone: Kat
Mariah Carey and Boyz to Men (One Sweet Day): Andrew for some strange reason.......
David Cook (or anything american idol related): Meagan
Justin timberlake: My sister
City and Colour: Paul and his guitar
Rihanna (breakin dishes): Jilly and algonquin
and the list goes on.......

These songs have more meaning behind them now than i think the artist ever intended. They are moments in your life that will always be refreshed in your mind when you hear the simple words, "Cause this is THRILLER" or "Just like a prayer you know I'll take you there".

The people above are those who i'll always remember because of these tunes....unless i get amnesia...then everthing thing i said will be a lie. anyone sick and tired of typing it not be a given by now?!?!
P.P.S. Tired Eyes by Hey Rosetta! is a good song...give it a listen...the whole song
P.P.P.S my right shoulder/upper arm really hurts :s (i'm literally making that face)
P.P.P.P.S It says i posted this and 10:28 pm...its lying...currently now 1:54

Friday, June 26, 2009

Body in a Box

"We celebrate the live of the dead, it's like a man's best party only happens when he dies."

As I sit on my couch watching the news about Michael Jackson's death, i wonder why only now are we truly giving him the credit he deserved.

Why don't we ever say these things when people are alive, or celebrate their accomplishments when they can know how proud you really are.

Remembering is good... but it would mean more to celebrate a life when they're still living.
it might even save them

It vas so eeeasy....

Woke up to drive my mother to work while listening to Jason Mraz :) there and back
Picked up Andrew and went to the my old school, our exam marks. WARNEKE. goodbye wood and bright. Added one to the group...Ms. Meagan....and travelled to Bukamaranga. I really hate that old hag who works there.

We conquered Chapters...Meagan i will hunt you down for the $$

Then as we stepped outside we discovered it was pouring. POURING DOES NOT DO IT JUSTICE.

Thank you God for creating windshield wipers. Q: What would the world do without them.
A: Get into a hell of a lot of car accidents

Dropped the crew off at andrews, then i went home to clean. My Fav.
I attempted to call my dad about my commencement and got my stepmom instead where she, like always, preceeded to be rude to me. Why the hell is she even coming (to my graduation) if she's going to be like that.

Call my sister. Call my mom. Paint my toes, and ONE (1) hand. Place a pouff on my head. Head back out to get my mom, where this time i listened to Hey Rosetta!

Back home: Shave my legs and GO!

Get to school where there was a sea of ugly black gowns.
Jazzy: "Come to the bathroom with me.:
Me: "Ok"
(preceed to the bathroom. Woman walks into the bathroom and looks at me and says)
random woman: "Did you guys hear Michael Jackson died."
Me: "WHAT...NO WAY...NO:
random woman: "Yeah, today, cardiac arrest"
Me: "I thought Farrah Faucet died?"
Random woman: "Yeah she died too."
Me: "OMG...I CAN NOT BELIEVE MICHAEL JACKSON DIED. (I start crying) I can't believe I'm crying...well yes i can."
random woman: "Awhh honey"
Me: "He is seriously my idol. He IS my childhood. I HAVE to call my mom."

No one believed it was true. But life carried on, as it always does and we (grads) lined up 1 to 297 (or more).

Long, sweaty story short: It was long and sweaty.

Travel back to andrews....most DELICIOUS nacho dip possiby EVER!
Went swimming for the first time in 2 years, played the classic games (colours, animals, handstand competition, and apparently dunk an unsuspecting persons head and attempt to drown them)

"I haven't dive this whole night" :s

swimming wears you out.
It vas soo eeeasy....Now I can go shopping

Dear Meagan,

I seem to be unable to follow you....and I would really like to stalk you.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009


alexisonfire was last years frosh..... :(

all my happiness just went away


I just had one of the most amazing moments of my life.

-I woke up at 11:28 to my dads phone call asking what time commencement started (7) then we had a lovely conversation about my phobia of spiders and how i should go see him since the last time I saw him was CHRISTMAS...... he probably looks like an old man now

-I took my camera downstairs and looked at all my AMAZING pictures from The Fray concert i attended last night (a la monica brittany shannon). I viewed the videos i took and realized that i should have took more because i can actually hear them sing.

-My memories of last night came rushing back and it was incredible. One of the most amazing, loudest, and memorable concerts.

I think the end is the most incredible at concerts. The closing song, when the crowd is quiet, is usually a powerful one, full of emotion. I actually started crying when they sang 'Happiness' for reasons even i dont think i understand. When the song ended and they said their good-byes and the stage lights went off and the venue lights went on and the thousands of people pushed through the exits, i turned to brittany and said "just think, we all just experienced the SAME thing, all 2 thousand + of us". It sounds lame just writing it but when you are actually there in that moment, its awesome. (apparently i like the word awesome...i need to expand my vocabulary)

-Then to make my morning(actual afternoon) better i call my mom and she tells me that my frosh kit consists of an ALEXISONFIRE AND CITY AND COLOUR concert.....i began to cry...weird....yes i know. Probably because i was just too happy for my own good. And then i told my mom i HAD to hang up and "let the world know my joy" (she had a nice chuckle from the use of my words)

-So i called the sister, informed her, made her REALLY jealous and told her i will see her tomorrow (again commencement) and i will also be coming on saturday to see the most beatiful boy in the world, Julian

Can my day get any better.....the answer is yes...when i win the lottery tonight :D

Monday, June 22, 2009


my first creation...davids floors are dirty.....meagans feet are black!!! and she not black :|